i hope you get cancer™

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Guardian Soulmates: cunt-magnet

Long-time readers will know of the comic potential of online dating. What may be less familiar is the unique disgust I reserve for the kind of "people" who infest Guardian Soulmates, and HIOP may from time to time bring you gems from that particular pucket of cold sick. Like "moneypenni" (above), who is a stereotype made flesh. From the hideous, punless username, and the fat, smug face onward, this failed abortion ticks all the boxes that have me reaching for my AK47 as I leave home of a morning:

  • Lives in a soi-disant trendy part of London? Check.
  • Expresses a fancy that she represents the love-child of three equally stomach-churning "personalities" (Nigella, Lara Croft and Mark Thomas, since you ask)? Check.
  • Travel nazi ("where are you going next")? Check.
  • Uses the word "feisty" without irony or apology? Check.
Click the link if you're still managing to keep down your lunch.