i hope you get cancer™

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Without you I'm nothing

I've always held firm to the principle that for a balanced life, a man needs a fevered sexual obsession with someone he's absolutely no chance of forming a relationship with - and ideally never going to meet. Like women in adverts on TV. Last summer it was the mouthwatering girl on the swing in the Wanadoo ad. Pretty floral dress set off by fuck-me leather boots. Olive skin. Full, pouting lips. Brown eyes like saucers, framed by tumbling dark brown curls. Oh sorry, I was miles away. Anyway she's old news. Now I'm devoting every waking hour to the French girl in the new Renault Clio ad. Pouty. Parisian. Cocquettish. Unavailable. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm....