i hope you get cancer™

Sunday, October 30, 2005

The first sign of cancer: verbal diarrhoea

Have you noticed how some people with cancer - especially those with ready access to their own newspaper column - can't fucking shut up about it? It was all the rage a few years ago, with Nigella Lawson's now-forgotten husband John Diamond and his chronicle of looming death. Moving, inspiring, and handy for La Lawson's cv of course, since she was able to use hubby's still-warm corpse as a stepping-stone to TV fame and a decent interval before shacking up with Tory-promoting billionnaire cunt Chuck Saatchi in 2002. Although Diamond wasn't the first - I think some Observer hackette beat him to that dubious honour some time in the 1990s. But since then the floodgates have opened, and still they keep on coming. Just google the terms cancer+journey and see what you get. My advice to anyone with the big C, thinking of using it to shift papers? SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. (Or start a blog)