i hope you get cancer™

Friday, August 05, 2005

I think I'm in love

Not for nothing is the internet more often referred to, in Al Gore's memorable phrase, as the masturbation superhighway. Time zones and geography have no meaning on the pornopike, and today's generation can have little understanding of how their predecessors were restricted to mail order, or the nearest mucky bookshop, when meeting their bishop-bashing requirements. The net really has revolutionised the life of one-handed readers the world over. But bloggism is opening a whole new "killer app" for the web, and perhaps the time will come when people associate the internet with a broader range of material than When Harry Ate Sally 4. So, dear reader, I am delighted - for those of you who have yet to make its acquaintance - to introduce you to a thing of rare beauty, a blog which seems to come from another world. I refer to the strange, wonderful Bogol. At first sight, Arlington Hynes' creation might seem ludicrously simple. What's so clever about misspelling everything?, some might ask. Ordinarily, I would do the same. I've always been something of a spelling Nazi, and my current job, educating the nation's youth, has made me more Draconian in that regard. But Bogol takes bad spelling on to a different plane altogether. At Hynes' hand, spelling becomes at once both irrelevant and a crucial weapon in his armoury. "Beauty" is the word which comes to mind whenever I try to express the nature of his genius. His words possess a paradoxical synthesis of the fragile, like spring flowers, and an aggressive, Maoist disregard for the rules of English. Reading his posts one gets an idea of what Year Zero will be like. But it's not merely form, obviously. Bogol, like many blogs, deals with the banalities of life: things that piss Hynes off, from an amazon.com PR stunt involving Moby to a job ad, explaining that "you will be responsible to designing...etc". "'rasponsable to'?! wtf?! whats with tehse peopal who cant get perpasitions right?" spits Hynes. How right he is, and how much more vital his posts are for having slipped the surly bonds of orthography, and punched the face of God. Some of Bogol is so tenuously tethered to the English language as to be completely incomprehensible. Take the online poll (top right). That's beyond spelling. And voting in a poll that could be in ancient Greek for all the sense it makes, surely puts it on the level of art. Bless you, Hynes, and long may the world's best website thrive.