i hope you get cancer™

Friday, May 20, 2005

Abi Titmuss = Homer Simpson

I had to rub myself down with disinfectant after watching last night's Channel 4 documentary on Britain's current favourite sex kitten, Abi Titmuss. If you've never heard of her, move on, but for anyone else I offer the following observation. Here is a young woman who, while undeniably smart and successful, has been prepared to debase herself to a remarkable extent in exchange for money. Watching her story unfold - in a tits-and-bums tabloid world which I used to inhabit in my previous life as a television PR type - she reminded me of noone so much as Homer Simpson. Once, desperate for money, Homer agreed to become the personal plaything ('comedy monkey' might have been the term) of his boss, Montgomery Burns. We saw Simpson enduring a string of humiliations until, to the horror of his daughter, he was dressed in a panda suit, exhibited at Springfield Zoo and, inevitably, rogered by a male panda. All the while showered with dollar bills from Burns. Shame got the better of our lovable fictional character, but it remains to be seen whether the same will prove true of Titmuss.